Christmas Season and an Update

Four weeks (and two posts) ago, I was feeling quite depressed and wrote a post listing several things I wanted in life. Praise God, I have achieved or acquired some of those things.

I have a laptop thanks to a wonderful pre-Black Friday Sale at Walmart.

I have a horizontal license (apparently, in NH when you renew your license two days before your 21st birthday, they will give you a vertical [under 21] temp license but when they send you the real thing, it is horizontal [over 21])*

I now have the new Star Trek movie on DVD (such a great movie!)

While I am not exactly healthy, I am getting help and am doing better. And contentment, working on that too.

Oh, and the depression, doing better with that too.

The holidays help a lot. Lately I have been hearing a lot of negative stuff about Christmas and the Christmas season. People complain how commercialized Christmas has gotten and how they now hate Christmas. I don't repute that Christmas is crazy commercialized, it very much is. However, I absolutely LOVE Christmas. If it was up to me, I would probably move Thanksgiving to September, and OFFICIALLY extend the Christmas season all through November and actually have the 12 days of Christmas. The Christmas season for me means family and friends. I love having everyone together just hanging out and enjoying each other's company and the great food. The whole family together with nothing to do except enjoy the fellowship. No one has to rush off to work or an appointment. Everyone is together and having fun. Random board or card games will break out at random times. People aren't all off in their own corners on the internet or playing single-player video games. In fact, I believe all the wonderful things about Christmas and the Christmas season, the atmosphere, the family, friends, the simple wonderfulness of it all, are all going to be part of Heaven.

*this one has actually made me ashamed of my pathetic, shallow wishes.

My Last Amen by Downhere

From the corner of my eye
There's a tear I'm trying to cry
But the feeling can't be found
Like a note thrills in a song
When I play it again, it's gone
Cuz it was never in the sound

And it keeps me wanting
That mysterious thing
Like a night is waiting for a dawn

Every prayer I say (a little closer)
To my resting place (a little closer)
Where my final breath is the beginning
To never needing
And I will find my last Amen

I could swear I have two hearts
One to stay, one to depart
This sad, tragic kingdom
And it burns me down to the core
Because I know there's so much more
It's just a pale reflection
And it keeps me wanting
That mysterious thing
Like an outcast waiting to belong

And while the thrills are fading
The joy is in the waiting
Somewhere in the grand design
It's good be unsatisfied
It keeps the faith and hope a little more alive

I want Wednesday

I know, I know, it's been a while. But a lot has happened since I got home almost two months ago. However, instead of filling you in on the boring details of what I've done since I got home, work, school, lots of dr's appointments, etc. I'm going to write out a wish list. Now, this is not a very realistic wish list and will contain some well, whining and complaining, but it is, after all, my blog. :-P

I want a Canon Digital Rebel XSi 12.2 MP Digital SLR Camera with EF-S 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 IS Lens in black. I want the skills to be able to operate said Canon Digital Rebel XSi. I want the photoshop skills to be able to edit pictures from said Canon Digital Rebel XSi.
I want a Kitchen Aid mixer.
I want the new Battlestar Galactica complete series on DVD.
I want the discipline and wit to continue a regular blog that people will actually read and enjoy.
I want the boldness and comfort with myself to be able to wear some of the more daring (but modest) clothes and clothing styles that I like.
I want a job that I actually enjoy and don't dread going to every day.
I want to make a little more money so I don't feel like I have to put somethings off until my next paycheck comes.
I want to know what sort of job I would actually enjoy and not get sick of after 6 months and go bonkers.
I want you to know that I love that word, bonkers.
I want to write but can't for the life of me write a plausible plot line.
I want to do forensics but am terrified I won't be able to handle the death that surrounds it.
I want to be a baker but I'm afraid if I make something I love my job, I'll hate it.
I want to travel but don't have the money.
I want a horizontal license. Two days. Two stinkin' days!
I want the new Star Trek movie on DVD.
I want a laptop.
I want a car (working on that one.)
I want to be healthy again.
I want to be content.

So cute!

I wasn't going to update this until after I got back but I was looking through the fashion blogs I follow and one led me to ModCloth where I found this dress and I had to share. So very cute! But I don't have anywhere to wear it to and there is no way I can justify buying a $50 dress just because I like the cut and pattern. *sigh* Life goes on :]

New blog!

Hello everyone! I started a new blog to chronicle my adventures in New Zealand next month. I probably will not be posting here during that time so check my new site for updates and pictures! :-)

In The Light

I keep trying to find a life
On my own, apart from you
I am the king of excuses
I've got one for every selfish thing I do

Whats going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a savior

(chorus)
I wanna be in the light
As you are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, lord be my light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the light
All I want is to be in the light


The disease of self runs through my blood
Its a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control

Tell me, whats going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a savior

(repeat chorus)

Honesty becomes me
[theres nothing left to lose]
The secrets that did run me
[in your presence are defused]
Pride has no position
[and riches have no worth]
The fame that once did cover me
[has been sentenced to this earth]
Has been sentenced to this earth

Tell me, whats going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a savior

(repeat chorus 2x)

[theres no other place that I want to be]
[no other place that I can see]
[a place to be thats just right]
[someday Im gonna be in the light]
[you are in the light]
[thats where I need to be]
[thats right where I need to be]

My timing is way off...

Mom had to work this evening so I was given dinner duty. After working a five hour floor (that means lots of running back and forth) shift this morning in the wrong shoes after waking up at 5:30 am. The last thing I wanted to do was slave over the stove either heating up left-over cream of broccoli soup (bleh) or cooking garlic pork-chops. I'm not a big fan of cream of broccoli, I'll eat it the first day if it is set in front of me, but second day C.O.B. is gross, just gross. And garlic pork chops, they're good, don't get me wrong, but I'm rather sick of pork and it sometimes makes me sick.

Anyways, I didn't really want to do either so I hopped onto allrecipes and found this. Awesome. Looks great, I've got everything. I can use the pork chops but not have to feel like I've had it a million times. I can make garlic mashed potatoes to go with it and we have sugar snap peas. Perfect. Suddenly, my dinner duty didn't seem too dismal. I put my country music mix on and got started.

I peeled potatoes and chopped them up kinda small because I wanted them to cook quickly. I sauteed some mushrooms and onions, then browned the pork. I threw the mushroom stuff, pork and two cans of condensed cream of mushroom soup into a pan and threw it in the oven. The original recipe called for you to bake it for 45 minutes but I had thin-sliced chops so I put the timer on for 20 minutes because I can always put them back in. About half-way through the 20 minutes I started getting worried because the potatoes weren't even boiling much less mushy enough to mash. While I was waiting for the stuff to cook, I was able to set the table very nicely though. Fortunately, the taters boiled right after that and I was able to mash them and every thing right when the timer went off for the pork. Perfect! Everything is coming together!

*buzzer* WRONG!

The pork was NOT done. *deep breath, sigh* The potatoes are done to a perfection but the pork...not so much. Now the potatoes are getting cold and icky.

At least the table looks nice.